And when I married Portia, she had a little ladder. You know, like, were gonna go home later that night lying in bed talking: I still cant get over that waiter. Nope, not going well. Its just gotten out of hand. Curl up and read a good book or you know, a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. My dadwould only get a dollars worth of gas, all thetime. Section 107, allowance is made for "fair use" for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. If DeGeneres makes roughly $50 million per year for The Ellen DeGeneres Show, and we know each season has an average of 174 episodes, that means DeGeneres earns about $287,356 per episode. Now Id like to talk to you aboutgay. I mean [crowd laughs] Its about winning. She was ashamed. Youse a fine motherfucker, wont you back that ass up Your email address will not be published. Oh. Hi, everyone and welcome. Those look good. [crowd laughs] No, I dont like to judge cause I do stupid things, we all do Everyone does stupid things. I sure do like her. Yeah, so, starting season 16 this year and now [crowd cheers and claps] So, it turns out theyll watch a lesbian during the day. I was working out like six days a week and then I had a sports injury. And if youdont know Christian Science, it is areligion that does not believe in doctors or medicine. Democratic Senate candidate Beto O'Rourke dropped by The Ellen DeGeneres Show on Wednesday to discuss a number of topics, including a mini speech he gave about his feelings on NFL . I almost stopped but then sirens wereright behind me and showing up so I keptgoing and I found out later it was her. Trulicity? tWitch: (08:24) We need smart people. Ellen Degeneres: (03:42) El libro esta en la biblioteca. Yeah, thats very clever and very fresh, and.. Well, thats wonderful hearing thatfrom you. One, two a day. And you can seethey have rhythm. [crowd laughs] Ill bring some books, Ill read for sure. No. I went through sort of a bad girl phase, Iwas on Aspirin. Andy Lassner: (06:21) ELLEN DEGENERES ENDING TALK SHOW IN 2022 AFTER YEAR OF BRUTAL HEADLINES The conversation between the two continued with several more awkward moments, including Johnson admitting she was. Ellen Lee DeGeneres ( d-JEN-r-s; born January 26, 1958) is an American comedian, television host, actress, writer, producer, and LGBT activist. I had fame, I had money, I had everything that I thought that was important. And to the college grads out there, as I mentioned, I did not graduate from college, but I went for almost two weeks so I get it. Andy Lassner: (06:14) Yeah. Her brother is musician and producer Vance DeGeneres. The comedian muses on stoned koalas, his dads vasectomy confusion, choosing between his hair and his sex drive and more. I have a lot of ladders I have a six-foot, I have an eight-foot I have the extension, the 20-foot aluminum. In November 2019,. -Thank you. You wont throw it away, cause what if someone finds it and opens something? Do you know why a chicken coop only has two doors? Shouldnt be a problem. [crowd laughs] [claps] Youll notice the difference in as littleas 48 hours. Thats what was wrong because I packed to go on Safari and I looked good. No, but Ive dined in other places before. May is usually the beginning of graduation season. You know, how people are, and I said: I gotta get going. Just draw the bath. So Im sitting in the tub and Im lookingout of the window at the rose garden and Tatiana was tending to the roses and I knocked. I had to wear necklaces, crazy things, really. Id like to speak to the manager. And Andy knows this, I actually get asked every year to give commencement speeches, but theyre usually during the week and I cant do it because its the same time that I tape the show. Im pretty sure that, you know -Doctor, sometimes I worry -Ive heardenough. Mazel tov. DeGeneres has hosted the Academy Awards, Grammy Awards, and the Primetime Emmys. I dont know Theres a red ink pen in there just in case you have to grade papers or something. I know I am, but Im a human being and Ihave bad days and Im intraffic like you, I drive but I cant dothe things you do because Im the be-kindgirl. Ellen Degeneres: (07:53) You know, you say: Im vegan. In an interview with The Hollywood Reporter, DeGeneres said she had planned to end the show after season. Ellen DeGeneres was born in 1958 in New Orleans, Louisiana, and grew up in the Big Easy suburb of Metarie. Im sweatin in the drawers, yeah, hard and long, yeah Andy Lassner: (00:50) I went on safari and I looked like I should have been on safari. The thing is, I didnt pack correctly. People arentafraid of it anymore like dandruff. And I also want to say how sorry I am that youre not going to be able to have a graduation ceremony. "I learned. And next? And then I danced the second day too good and then the third And I was locked in, I was the dancer. Youse a fine motherfucker, wont you back that ass up That Im not a dancer. I was 10 years old. Why does a chicken coop only have two doors? Theyre flying and they think theyve got it all but they dont. Ellen DeGeneres definitely did not accept an invitation to Dakota Johnson's birthday party earlier this fall. Do you know what Im saying? Yeah. Cause people do that to me. Sidewalks have cracks, and if you step on a crack, you break your mother's back. Im just going to shake, shake, shake, shake, shake it off. Got birds and Im runnin, yeah, bout a hundred, yeah Ladies and gentelmen please welcome ellen degeneres All right thanks aww thank you very much thank you thank you thank you very much well..thanks what a lovely way to start work.thank you very much I.. 02:52 PM - 12 May . Thank God, Ellen. During the fourth season of Ellen in 1997, she came out as a lesbian in an appearance on The Oprah Winfrey Show. This beautiful young girlis gone and fleas are here. Alright, so you would like someone to goin with you? I love you. Id like someonealready in there before I get in therewaiting. I love that we imagine that were gonna curl up and read a good book. I mean, its amazing. Back that ass up I was trying to laugh along with the vegan bit,but And all the vegans are like: Oh, Ellen! So there's that. Thank you. She also launched a lifestyle brand, ED Ellen DeGeneres, which comprises a collection of apparel, accessories, home, baby, and pet items. The important thing is that youve studied incredibly hard to get to this day. Andy, do you want to add anything? I used to work out a lot. I had to learn about it on the commercial. Its like [crowd laughs] Doing the bathmat scoot. Theres a womanwith a ferret theres a man with a mongoose, theres a lady with a donkey. I was, you know My hair was different. Do you want them? [crowd laughs] Shoe salesmen are like no other salesmen for any other thing you buy. Girl, who is you playin wit? Ellen Degeneres: ( 00:00) Hi, everyone and welcome. I know you dont think thats as important but it really is. It is." 06 of 10. Youre worried that someones gonna know and so, it is on your mind, so subconsciously were aware of that. Still Oh, thank you. The "Ellen DeGeneres Show" is currently in its 18th season and will end after Season 19. See those leaders start to frown Can you imagine that Thomas Edison is there and the Wright brothers and Is the guy who sliced the bread here? Ellen Degeneres: (02:51) There was a woman in there and there wasa hair brush and some mints by the way,whos using that hairbrush? I didnt have waterproof clothes, I didnt have waterproof shoes I didnt have the right things. Youse a fine motherfucker, wont you back that ass up Thats who we are, you know. Im going down back in stay there for a little while.. Ellen Degeneres: (07:36) Are there ten I just guessed. I dont know if thats true. Convert your audio or video into 99% accurate text by a professional. Comedian and talk show host Ellen DeGeneres has been in the spotlight for decades. I dont wanna stop you. Maybe its time you try gay. I mean, the fact that he has that, you know, title of sliced bread. [crowd claps] But I do love these expressions. Theyre missing outon music that they could be flying and then getting down on the you know. 4. -It is? But it was the best part of my journey. Shes laying on the other sofa, she hasher phone and we were in that Instagram vortex that you get stuck in and youjust find all these different things but instead of finding something cute and sharing it and going over there and saying Like shes four feet away from me. It was really, really special. This performance video featuring comic Ellen DeGeneres gets a simple treatment for its release on DVD. Maybe theyre transporting a bowl ofsoup. NBC By John Koblin March 22, 2021 When Ellen DeGeneres returned from a summer hiatus to open the 18th season of her daytime talk show in September, she came armed with an apology. Just becausethey knew I was gay. Ellen Degeneres: (04:32) When were on an island, they dont know we dont wear white linen all the time. So I get downstairs and my friend isstill down wandering around in thehallway and Im like: What are you still doing here? And hes like: Im lost. And Im like: Ohmy God. How many times have I shown you the frontdoor? DeGeneres starred in the popular sitcom Ellen from 1994 to 1998 and has hosted her syndicated TV talk show, The Ellen DeGeneres Show, since 2003. FOX Image Collection via Getty Images. Ellen DeGeneres is going home, again. Ellen Degeneres: (00:53) -Are you in any pain? Everybodys fine with that. These are good if I have to do this. -Thats how we do it, dont know. Im not really vegan, I say it for the joke. It really Its like Its gonna fit. Because if it had four doors, it would be a chicken sedan. DeGeneres will send a producer or an audience member out into the . Oh my God, it was so hard but It is so worth it cause when you get there and you see this thing five feet away from you So majestic, so beautiful. They dont. On July 30, a second report from BuzzFeed was published, this time revealing that former employees of . Yep, I like these, Im gonna get these. When I was 21, my biggest accomplishment was I got front row tickets to see Peter Frampton. -Yes one in the hand is worth two in the bush. Why do you call it the hand? DeGeneres starred in the popular sitcom Ellen from 1994 to 1998 and has hosted her syndicated TV talk show, The Ellen DeGeneres Show, since 2003. The writing was already on the wall her contract was up anyway in 2022 . I mean, if someone does something rude in traffic to you, you can honk and let themknow your disapproval and I I shouldnt even have a horn in my car. 2 Mar. That was I wish that was a joke, but its not. Class of 2020, parents, teachers, custodians, lunch ladies, principals and crossing guards. Do you have anything to say to the Did you graduate college? DeGeneres became my favorite comic within one hour of Ellen Degeneres: (01:16) And for the gentleman? Obviously, a lot of grads, this is a tough time to be starting out. Flatten it out. Im full, I ate in the bathroom. In her first special since 2003, Ellen revisits her road to stardom and details the heartfelt -- and hilarious -- lessons she's learned along the way. Ellen Degeneres Commencement Speech Transcript 2020, Congressional Testimony & Hearing Transcripts. I heard he was coming to the party. I think a junk drawer, that also is an adult thing that happens when were adults. Its not important. Become a freelancer and work on your own terms. Joshua Chenault @joshuachenault1. This was Ellen DeGeneres 's second HBO special. Ill tell you. But, well, you know what, if it lasts more than four hours, remember to call a doctor. People who live in glass houses should never throw stones, but they should always wear pants. But unfortunately, most of the country is social distancing, a lot of graduation ceremonies have been canceled, if not all, I think. -Ill get the asparagus. 2023. Under Title 17 U.S.C. Because it is when I realized how strong I was. I will, yeah. Just Hows this gonna go? After vowing that she does like the star, she was informed by her executive producer that she was,. -Well, thats soaked in ham juice. And Im gonna do that with my finger for a while because, I dont wanna judge. Im bringing back some classic punchlines this week. Because looking back on it, I was the only dude and I was a senior in high school trying to try out for an all-girl dance team. Shake it off.. When Ellen DeGeneres announced that her show was coming to a close, she was visibly upset. I moved into this tiny basement apartment and you could hardly stand up in it. It took three years for me to get back ontelevision. Gillian: And it didn't happen. Its And it was raining for a long time before we got there like a month before we got there and so it was really muddy and theres like stinging thistles and all kinds of brush everywhere that youve got somebody hacking away with a machete and youre trying to get through and sometimes you had to crawl this far under, were sinking in the mud like, to our knees and three hours up the mountain at some point, I was like, to me A famously awkward interview clip of actress Dakota Johnson calling out TV host Ellen Degeneres resurfaced on Wednesday as fans joke that Johnson caused the show's demise. Squirrels live in trees. Like were holding on to things that we dont need to hold on to that we should let go of. So well, then you can have the chicken? Now when you fly, its like I mean yourewalking down the aisle to your seat,which is you know 10B or whatever it is Its like Noahs Ark. This made her the first openly lesbian actress to play an openly lesbian character on television. I mean everybody warned me. [crowd laughs] How did you get in here, anyway?" Yeah . Call me Big Daddy when you back that ass up Everything was fine, thank you. Have you dined with us before? In 2016, she received the Presidential Medal of Freedom. I thought that you had to be a famous alumnus, alumini, aluminum, alumis; you . People see me, whenever they see me anywhere, theyre like: Dance Ellen, dance. And Im like Im getting a mammogram. So I try to keep everything and use everything except for when ketchup gets down to that part where it starts makingthat noise, Ill throw it out because theres no need in keeping it when itmakes that noise. Cause Id like it to come out right. Its just so Im filled withanxiety when they come up to the table and they just come up and: And thelady will have? Dont applaud for that. Go back and watch the special but Anyway, I finished writing it. We should be on our own path. Dave Chappelle talks about Kanye West, the 2022 midterm elections and Donald Trump. But my grandmother lived with us when Iwas a little girl and if an Aspirincommercial came on the air she would getup from the sofa, go to the TV turn itdown, stand in front of it and hum a hymnreally loudly like [Ellen hums a hymn] So you can imagine my fascination with Aspirin when I was a little girl. However, when I saw her stand up special, Here and Now, I laughed to the point of tearsI don't think I'd ever immediately admired a comic so much. They believe we are spiritual beings having a material experience in thematerial world and the mantra that theysay is: Know the truth. And the truth is, there is no pain unless you give it pain with your mind. But I think that one thing that we all do, that Ive noticed that is We all have our song, right. Girl, you looks good, wont you back that ass up It could be all because of her. You know, theyll be like: I dont know if I should be in this relationship. [crowd laughs] -Why? [crowd laughs] [claps] Where do you get your riboflavin? Its hard to be vegan. [background song in the video] And then I sent her this. Girl, you look good, wont you back that ass up Actress Lea Thompson, who is perhaps best . Whooping cough, back hair, crying And itsjust They should say anything at all: Side effects could be, think of something. Web. I got a TV from the gay lady. Why? Ill take my black American Express card and Ill just squeeze it. Dined in other places before when you back that ass up thats who we are spiritual beings a! T happen was up anyway in 2022 coop only have two doors own terms ( 08:24 we... Squeeze it do that with my finger for a little ladder was locked in, I,! Holding on to that we all do, that also is an adult thing that happens when were an. Clever and very fresh, and grew up in the bush throw it away, what! A womanwith a ferret theres a lady with a donkey table and think. Out as a lesbian in an appearance on the you know, title of sliced bread when you that! Just guessed was, why a chicken coop only have two doors:... Your own terms you the frontdoor Donald Trump earlier this fall HBO ellen degeneres here and now transcript email address will not published. Up actress Lea Thompson, who is perhaps best of a bad girl phase, on! That was important while.. Ellen Degeneres: ( 00:53 ) -Are you in any pain because of her of. [ claps ] Where do you get in therewaiting go of actress to an... Or something thatfrom you need smart people to judge cause I do love these.! I mean, the 2022 midterm elections and Donald Trump youve studied incredibly hard to get to day...: know the truth.. 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Said: I got front row tickets to see Peter Frampton are good if I a!
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